Thinking...Thoughts...Future...Past.

 Disclaimer: This week is less sexual and funny and more like a 40 year old with hair curlers and flannel night gown. ;) hopefully back to more sexualness next week.



None of my Biological family, besides my mom know yet but we are trying for a baby! Trying for a baby is nothing like I had ever expected. I anticipated that I would one day decide to have children and soon after (within a few weeks or so,) I would find out I was pregnant. However, in the actual process of trying for a baby, I have realized that it takes much more then simply wanting a baby to get pregnant and actually create a baby, an actual human being that will one day grow up and go off into directions I probably don't expect. Its amazing to think that soon davis and I will be having a baby because I do have faith  that I will eventually get pregnant and it will be alright. Its crazy to think that everything I do will eventually set this child up for life, everything I do is the difference, between loner or popular kid, killer or doctor, teacher or childlike annoyance and so on (in the case of extremes, who knows my child might just stay at home forever and be lame lol). I want my child to have the parents I only dreamed of having as a kid. I want to be a mom first and then if I can a good friend to my child. I want my child to as independent as possible and not need something from everyone to get anything done.

Also, I have been trying alot lately to work on my marriage to prepare for having a child, since soon Davis I wont ever be alone again, we will always be an actual family! lol but as magical and wonderful as that sounds I know it has the possibility to put a strain on a marriage. I hope to be done with school very soon so when my child gets here I can devote all of my time, in being a good mom and wife. I believe in god, and I have faith that one day davis and I will have a wonderful child to call our own, but it has to be in gods timing and for that I have to have patience, which is hard. This isnt meant to be a sad post by the way, just sort of a Reflection of my life as it is and what it will become soon.

It is amazing to think that just 10 years ago I was praying everyday that my dad would get out of jail and be able to be with me all the time. Its amazing to think that almost 5 years ago, davis and I met and sooo much has changed since then. its amazing to think how quickly life has been going by. I have only been around for 19 years and it somehow seems longer and shorter then that at the same time. I hope that in 5 years I will look back on this time fondly and think about how much fun davis and I had as newlyweds and how much I loved this time and how much I love my current life in 5 years.

I would say the happiest thing about my life nowadays is that I am living with the love of my life, and we have our own house and he has a stable job and we are so very blessed! I would say the saddest thing I have learned the last few years is how strange it is that after you get married you dont see your friends as often, which is the only reason I miss high school! I will always say one of my top favorite memories and the best time of my life (besides davis) is the sleepovers, and just laughing all the time and never really caring about anything but getting away from Barbara and homework hahaha I think I spent some of my best years taking naps with my best friend and just plain laughing. in the next few weeks, im hoping to hang out with my friends more considering schools out and I want to make sure all my relationships are strong before making it harder with a new baby. lol I guess you could say my "new years resolution" is to build up my relationships more, work on how I deal with problems and fights, work on my faith and commit to god, and have a baby.

What are yours?

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG?

 so...I started a blog. I have wanted to for quite some time, but call it procrastination, laziness or that I am way to caught up in being sexual to start one, point is I have started one now. Whats that qoute something about better late then never? Well its late and not never and it will be sexual! haha So my plans going forth with this is that I would love to blog every couple days or so about what is going on in my life, what are my thoughts and my ideas, what makes me...ME! I will not put a time on it seeing as how we already established that Im lazy as fuck and will not stick to it, plus I dont like to be told what to do so I dont even try fool.

So I will try to keep this up but seeing as how I never see anything though dont hold your breath.. (parenting shall be interesting as well considering that fact..hello random stranger I have 1 child half grown ready for a new mom, im bored! ) anyways... lets hope this turns out well we shall try to be positive and take a second to think happy thoughts...Did you do it?  Yeah I didn't think so, you are just as lazy as I am shame on you. ( not me clearly I wrote this blog that is something isn't it?...yeah I didn't think so..jerk.) 

On to other subjects before it gets ugly in here. Lately I have been trying to be positive.  There are certain things I want in life and it seems that everyone other then me are getting them. So I have been trying to live by the following quote: " Worrying will never change the outcome" which If you know me you would be extremley proud I even typed that. So if your reading this and you drink heavily, risk liver cancer just one extra drink a day for me until I get what I want, take one for the team as it were. thanks buddie your a true friend ;) 

What can you expect from this blog you may ask? 
Well thanks thats a beautiful question dear friend. 
1. foul language.  
2. Occasional beautiful pictures of my bodacious body. 
3. cheesy metaphors that dont make sense to you.
4. procrastination at its finest. 
5. awesome qoutes
6. a new love for the word sexual 

disclaimer: Im new to this give me a break. Ill get better as time goes on..if times go on in the blog world. 

All my sexual thoughts and regards, 
ME